As I walked out, the receptionist asked me if I needed another appointment, and I told her no and walked out those doors for the last time being pregnant. It was a really weird feeling. I wasn't ready to have her yet. I still needed to prepare a little bit more and I still needed to nest and I needed to go with Sydney to her first dentist appointment and to her dance recital that Saturday. Mentally, I wasn't ready. It was happening all too fast. I don't remember what I was thinking on the drive home. I don't think I was thinking! I got home, finished putting Sydney's hair up and finished packing my bags. Thank goodness I had made a list of what I still needed to pack and put it in the suit case of the things I already had packed because I couldn't think! Adam and I agreed that he would still take her to her dentist appointment because it would take a while to get checked in and still hours and hours until she would be born. I got all my bags packed and got Sydney's stuff packed, hugged Adam and left the house thinking, "Today is cleaning day! Laundry day! The house is a mess! I can't leave it like this!"
On the ride back to the hospital, I remembered I was starving and remembered I had a granola bar I should eat because I know I wouldn't be getting anything to eat until after she is born, so I quickly ate it! It was so surreal walking back into the hospital, back up the elevator I had taken up to the 3rd floor many times during the last 9 months and then instead of turning left to the OB office, I took a right over to Labor and Delivery. It was officially time as soon as I went through those doors!
It was so weird going up there by myself without Adam being with me and I was a little scared. He wouldn't be much longer though! I got checked in and taken to room 7 and I couldn't get it through my head that I was in the labor and delivery room and I was going to have a baby possibly today... or tomorrow. Again, I wasn't ready. I signed some papers and then I went to put on the lovely hospital gown. Adam then finally made it!! Shortly after, the nurse came in to get my IV started. She tried to put it in the side of my wrist and couldn't get it, so she moved to the other side and still couldn't get it but kept trying and was moving it around and right then, I got sick, clammy, ears were buzzing like crazy and I thought I was going to pass out. She quit, got me a cold towel to put on my head and went to have somebody else try. She tried again on the first side in another spot, still couldn't get it, so she ended up putting the IV on the top of my hand. Should have just placed the IV there the first time. Rough start! The doctor, who would be delivering, came in and checked me. He said I was dilated to almost 1.5 and decided that it would be the best to start me on pitocin. (did't realize there were other options if I hadn't been dilated or effaced) He then started talking about preeclampsia and the risks and then the risks of having pitocin with preeclampsia and increased risk of c-section. I was already so overwhelmed with hearing all this at my appointment this morning and was already scared since I wasn't prepared for any of this. Not prepared to have preeclampsia and not prepared to have a possible c-section and then lastly he said he ordered some blood work to be done and it would also tell him if my blood type would be compatible to get an epidural. (something with blood type clashing when you have preeclampsia mixed with an epidural or something like that. I was so overwhelmed that I don't even remember why). I immediately panicked because I wasn't mentally prepared to deliver without having an epidural. Again... I just wasn't ready to deliver this soon at all! A while later, the nurse came in to start the pitocin and said as soon as I was dilated to 3cm, I could have an epidural. I was so happy about that! I passed my blood test!
Contractions started coming on and they kept turning the
Pitocin up until they were 2 minutes apart. I got up and sat on the birthing
ball for quite a while (since I couldn't go walking anywhere being hooked up to everything!). By this point, I was starving!! I jokingly told the nurse that and she said I could have clear liquids up until I got my epidural. So she got
me some cranberry juice and a popsicle. Those 2 things have never taste so good!
I got back into the bed
after a while and the doctor came in saying something about rupturing my
membranes and I thought he was just joking and coming into get something from
the closet in the room to take somewhere else, but then he came out with a big stick looking thing. I
told him, “Oh! You aren’t joking!” haha! I was still at a 1.5cm by then. He
broke my water and that was the weirdest sensation ever! I kept thinking that this is all happening
way too fast! I’m not ready for her to be born yet. I was going to clean the
house today and take a nap and finish Christmas shopping. Really, I wasn’t
ready for pregnancy to end quite yet. I think this was the hardest thing for me to accept. I loved being pregnant! Even though I was miserable at times and so uncomfortable.
After a while, Adam found an app on his
iPad and started making a video to pass the time. He was going to send it to family after she was born to announce her birth and tell everybody her name. He wanted to record me having a contraction and I said, "Seriously!! You wouldn't even let me take your picture a while ago, why would I let you record me during a contraction!" Haha! Finally, he let me take a picture of him and I let him record me. We both won! (Click to watch video)
I was sick of sitting in the bed, so I got up and sat in the
chair for a while, which really helped kick my contractions up. They were
slowing down, but getting more painful, so the nurse turned it up one to help
get things going a little more. Adam would watch the monitor showing the contractions and tell me when it was going down and helped me get through them. At some point, they checked me and I was at a
3.5cm and said I could have the epidural at any time. I opted to wait it out a
little longer since I was breathing through the contractions okay and I wanted to
feel them a little bit more. So, still sitting in the chair and telling
the nurse I will wait a little bit longer, my next contraction hit and that was
it. Probably less than 5 minutes later I pushed the nurse call button and she
came in laughing (because she knew I would be calling her back in soon requesting pain relief) with the papers to sign for the epidural. She called the anesthesiologist and said he was on his way from his
house. I didn't realize he was on call. So about an hour later, he was here and
I was ready for some pain relief! I was in so much pain by this point. Sitting on the edge of the bed trying to keep my back rounded and pushed out for the anesthesiologist while in pain, was a challenge! Getting the epidural placed this time around was
awful! It hurt so bad when he was trying to place it and the first time I felt pain and he had to take it out and try again. I was shaking from pain during the contractions and then trying to focus was hard. The second time it was uncomfortable and I hated the feeling of the pressure in my back and I just wanted to tell him to stop and forget it, I don't want an epidural. I then had the though, "No, that would be stupid!" My nurse was so great and helped keep me calm and helped me breath through the contractions. I'm so glad she was there with me through the rest of the delivery.
I then started shaking/shivering really bad after the epidural was placed. The nurse told me it's a side-effect from the epidural. Thankfully the pain started easing off, I was at almost 5cm by the time the epidural was fully working. But then, my blood pressure started to drop and the machine would start beeping. The nurse came in and gave me a fedrine to get
my blood pressure to go back up. Then it would go up, way up and she would have
increase my fluids to help it drop. This pattern kept up for what seemed forever, I can’t tell you
how long it was before it leveled out. I was so scared during this time. I would get really nauseous when it dropped and then when it would spike, my chest felt really heavy and I told her it felt like my heart was hurting. It was hard not to panic. During that time, she had to give me 2
more shots of federine into my IV. She had the blood pressure cuff set to go off every 3 minutes and when the machine beeped to tell me what it was, I would look back and pray it would be okay. After a while, my neck hurt so bad from looking back and Adam started telling me what it was each time it went off. Thankfully, it finally leveled out! Sometime after all that, they came in and got the room set up for delivery so they wouldn't be rushing to get stuff set up if I was all of a sudden dilated to 10cm. Again, it was so surreal watching her set up the room and seeing the little bed with the warmer and the newborn diaper and a little hat she set on the table next to me.
I couldn't believe time was getting close enough to delivering. I should be at home in bed right now, sleeping and getting up a hundred times to pee and then laying there after feeling her move around while I tried to get back to sleep.
The nurse told me she
was going down to eat dinner and would be back soon. I was still at 5cm when
she left. It was then 11:00pm and I asked Adam if he thought she would be born
today, the 19th, or tomorrow, since it was cutting it close. We both
agreed on tomorrow. I had already been laboring for 11 hours at this point. About 15 minutes after asking him that (and 30 minutes
after the nurse said she was going to dinner) I started feeling pressure! I
told Adam and said I don’t know if this is it and if I should call her in. I
decided to wait a few, but then I felt the pressure even stronger and decided I should definitely call her in. That time, both
the doctor and nurse came in and he checked me saying that I was dilated to a 9.8, which he was joking around with me a little. He also said to give her a little bit to drop down on her own before I start pushing.. So about 10-15
minutes later, the nurse said we are going to do some test pushes and we got ready and she checked me to see where baby was and closed my legs and told me
not to push! Oh my gosh… it was go time! I'm not ready!! She went and got the doctor and within
2 contractions and 2 pushes each contraction, she was born! At 11:46pm, our beautiful daughter, our second child was here! Sydney is finally a big sister! So many emotions were flowing through me. I was elated and I was scared at the same time. Another worry I had with her being born 2.5 weeks early was if she would be healthy and ready to be born without any complications. That fear quickly disappeared when I first saw her. I remember thinking I couldn't believe how much
hair she had and how chunky she looked! Adam didn't want to cut the cord (and that was totally fine!!), so
the doctor asked me if I wanted to, I paused for a second to think and I told him sure! Wow, what a weird thing
to do. I was cutting the one thing that kept her attached to me. Adam said, she
didn't take her first breath until the cord was cut. Then we heard her beautiful
cry!! They took her to the warming bed to clean her up and weigh her. 6lbs 14oz and 19inches long. When they were finished, they brought her to me and put her on my
chest for some skin to skin time. It felt amazing to hold her and look at her. I was in heaven and I couldn't believe the instant love I had for her. Her
eyes were wide open and looking right at me. I was in love. We
stayed skin to skin for quite a while, which was the most amazing experience and I will never forget it. She just laid there looking at me, looking around and sucking on her hand. Not long after, I got to nurse her and she nursed for about 20 minutes. It was
then time to move to our recovery room, so they took Hannah and swaddled her and gave her to Adam to hold her for the first time. Seeing him hold our new daughter made my love for him grow so much more right then. My love for our family grew so much in that short little time. He then pushed her bassinet down the hall to our recovery room. We were finally a family of four and we kept saying we couldn't wait until morning when Sydney could come meet her little sister. I'm so grateful for Adam for being by my side through all this and so grateful he is the father of our girls.
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